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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709935">i’m gonna give my heart away and pray we’ll stay together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hansine/pseuds/Hansine'>Hansine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Historical, Developing Relationship, F/M, Feudal Era, Married Life, Nobility</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:34:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hansine/pseuds/Hansine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They were made to marry for convenience: for her to be taken care of, for him to gain a wife and benefit from their family’s business. This is the story of how they fell in love along the way, slowly, at first, then all at once.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>206</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. eyes, like a sunrise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is from Evergreen by Westlife. Please give it a listen! I think this song fits Cloti very well, from Cloud's POV</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After I read OurLadyMuffin’s <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530379">Memories of a Mask</a>, it made me want to write a historical AU. Cue me telling fellow Thigh High Cultists <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayelisa/pseuds/mayelisa">mayelisa</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendaryboo">legendaryboo</a> and Cult Leader <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SKEvans/pseuds/SKEvans">SKEvans</a>, here I am with an Arranged Marriage, Feudal-set AU. I’ve been working away at this for the past week and… here I am with the prologue. I did want to write a more plot-filled Cloti fic so… here we are. Surprise surprise.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her muscles burned, every single one of them, especially those that held up her (forced) smile. Her father insisted that they send a portrait to the Duke. They had to do everything they could to make sure she was the one he chose. He was young, just a few months older than her, and wealthy and they’d never get a chance like this ever again.</p><p> </p><p>“Relax your shoulders.” </p><p> </p><p>She struggled not to roll her eyes. Easy for him to say. He didn’t have to hold a pose and an expression he didn’t mean.</p><p> </p><p>“Tifa.”</p><p> </p><p>Her father’s voice was stern.</p><p> </p><p>Closing her eyes, she began to take slow, deep breaths. She imagined her thoughts floating away, like she wasn’t on display for a portrait for the Duke. If she had her way, one Tifa Lockhart would be working with the accountants and making sure everything was properly logged in the books of their company. Instead, here she was dressed and primped, sitting in the most flattering area of their garden. At least according to the artist she was. He was of some renown, they could afford that much anyway, and was regarded with respect. Still, he could afford to be nicer and less gruff with his instructions but, who was she to say such a thing? She was just a girl, albeit a successful merchant’s daughter trained to take the reins from him one day. Opening her eyes, she found something inside of her to relax her shoulders and smile just a little bit more, even if it felt hollow.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s for your future. We’ve spoken about this already, Tifa. Please.” The hard edge of her father’s voice softened. “Just because the Duke was kind enough to send you some jewelry doesn’t mean you’ve been chosen.”</p><p> </p><p>She knew, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” It was barely louder than a whisper but she knew her father heard. Brian Lockhart was a shrewd, charismatic businessman. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s a lovely pink and a beautiful red you have on.” She wondered if it was just her or if there was an undertone of flirtation in his words. He wouldn’t dare, especially with her father hovering in the background and that this was a portrait they commissioned to send to the Duke. She didn’t even pick out her dress and her makeup for the painting. It was the woman her father trusted with any trade to do with silk and cosmetics and her wetnurse turned their housekeeper who chose what she’d wear for the session.</p><p> </p><p>They had selected for her a blush pink off the shoulder dress with a straight neckline, to showcase the jewelry that the Duke had sent, a rose gold piece with a ruby, five petal flower pendant in a prong setting and a sparkling diamond in the center. Her makeup was filled with pinks, browns, peaches, and rose golds. Her waterline was lined with white, her lashes rimmed with kohl, and her eyelashes brushed up to fullness to make her look doe eyed and innocent. She remembered the way her makeup artist’s hand shook and the furrow in her brow as her lips were lined and painted a deep and alluring apple red, topped with a rich gloss that highlighted the fullness of them.</p><p> </p><p>She supposed they were going to try their damndest to make sure she looked as beautiful as they could make her, though she didn’t really see the point. He would choose whomever he wanted, paintings be damned. Still, despite all her protests, she knew the Duke was a handsome young man with soft flaxen hair and the most piercing blue eyes she had ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t expect the letter to arrive when she was working, poring over the latest requirements of their clients and trying to balance their requests with their storage capacity and assets on hand. It wasn’t easy, trying to please as many people as possible, but they somehow managed to always make a compromise. The nib danced all over the form she was filling out when she jolted, her father suddenly opening the door with one of the biggest smiles she’d ever seen on his face. It was a little pleasant to see him energetic instead of his usual bone tiredness. She knew he was a workaholic and she couldn’t peel him away to rest long enough.</p><p> </p><p>That day seemed to have been ages ago and now she was walking in the gardens of Strife manor with the young Duke himself. His portrait didn’t do him any justice. He cut a fine figure in his deep gray suit, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. It pushed his blazer open and it gave him an excuse to not figure out what he had to do with his hands. She was a little bit jealous of him. Even with the fan she was carrying, she still couldn’t help but want to fidget.</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose we should head back.”</p><p> </p><p>Tifa blinked, staring back at him, swallowing thickly.</p><p> </p><p>“The agreement should have been ironed out by now. We should head back to sign.” His voice was soft in her ears and didn’t betray his feelings. She wished that it did. She wanted to know if she was the only one wallowing in despair. She didn’t want to be here and maybe, just maybe, neither did he. Perhaps they both wanted freedom but were bound by their circumstances and filial piety.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>She hated how it was all she could say. She couldn’t go back on her father’s word. It was as good as her own.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>Tifa finally let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. She had just arrived from the seamstress and her second fitting went well. There was one more before the big day. Ever since the agreement had been formalized and their wedding announced, it had been nonstop wedding preparations and etiquette classes (care of the Duke’s advisers), her work at Lockhart Trading having been taken over by her father. Everything was finally starting to wind down now and maybe she could take some of them back. She didn’t want to just sit around twiddling her thumbs. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door to her father’s office. The next sound she heard was a heavy thud and glass breaking. She screamed when she saw her father on the floor, unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>She hugged her father tightly when he finally came to, sobbing in his arms. She could hear him murmuring his apology and feel his hand on her back. He was so thin in her arms, gaunt and pale, and his hands were so small. She never remembered him like this, weak and sickly. He was always so brawny and full of life, still able to pick her up and swing her around even as an adult. Now, he was a shadow of his former self and she didn’t even notice. The guilt was gnawing at her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m… sorry, Tifa.” His voice was hoarse and dry. Even now he was still putting her before him, like he always did. She hiccupped.</p><p> </p><p>She pulled away, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffling.</p><p> </p><p>“What for? Don’t be sorry.” She sniffed, still trying to wipe away her tears but they weren’t stopping.</p><p> </p><p>Before Brian could answer, the doctor knocked on the door to announce his presence before coming in.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry to interrupt but I have the initial results.”</p><p> </p><p>Tifa watched the doctor’s expression turn even sadder and her heart dropped.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid I don’t have good news.”</p><p> </p><p>Brian coughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I had a feeling you’d say that.”</p><p> </p><p>Despite the softness of his voice, she could hear him loud and clear. He knew.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>The doctor said that he only had about a few weeks, a couple of months at best. He had been working himself to the bone, taking on most of Tifa’s responsibilities. They had been his to begin with and she had managed to pry them from his iron grip somehow. It had been a month since then, just a few more weeks to the wedding.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad the marriage is happening soon.” His eyes were closed, his hand was on top of hers.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about? No! I’ll talk to the Duke, postpone it. I have to take care of you!” She tried to restrain herself as best she could. Raising her voice wasn’t going to do anything.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll still have family, once I’m gone. I’ve met the Duke, Cloud. He seemed like a nice boy, so I thought he’d be good for you.” His words were calm and measured, like he had accepted everything even if she didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t speak like that, Dad!” Her voice trembled and tears started to rim her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to make sure you’d be taken care of when I’m gone. We don’t have family nearby and your mother left before us.” Even if her vision was starting to blur, she could see him open his eyes and turn his head to look at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Little girl, smile for me? Please? No more tears, Tifa. I’m okay.” She grabbed his hand and placed it on her cheek, blinking the tears away as she smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and Agnes. She told me to take care of you, once she was gone. Do you think I did that?”</p><p> </p><p>His voice was getting weaker and weaker, his breathing slower and slower.</p><p> </p><p>“Yup, you sure did, Dad.” Her lower lip was trembling, tears starting to roll down on her face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry you couldn’t choose your future husband, Tifa. I just wanted to make sure you were taken care of.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yup, you said that, Dad.” Her tears were running freely now, aware of what this moment meant.</p><p> </p><p>“I think I’ll go to sleep now. Maybe dream of when Agnes was carrying you in her arms when you were born. I love you, little girl.” His eyes were halfway closed this time. She smiled one last time. She was always his little girl.</p><p> </p><p>“Love you too, Dad. Say hi to mom for me okay?” She couldn’t hardly see. Everything was a blur through her tears.</p><p> </p><p>She could feel the warmth of his hand start to leave soon after his eyes fell shut. She broke down completely, her anguish ringing through the silence of their home.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>The funeral was filled with their neighbors and employees, most of whom the pair of them had come to consider as family. She was numb, throughout the entire ceremony, and barely heard everyone’s condolences and well wishes. She was finally alone, left with all the flowers and the smell of petrichor from the slightly wet earth of her father’s grave. There was some rain when they lowered the casket, just for a few minutes, like the sky was mirroring her. She had barely any tears left.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope I’m not intruding.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She recognized that voice, or she thought she did. Tifa couldn’t process very much, not when she was still trying to keep it together. Then it came to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not. We’re about to be husband and wife soon so you have every right to be here.” She couldn’t help the bitterness in her voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner. I was only told this morning that your father had passed.” She felt his hand on her shoulder but from the corner of her eye, she watched him draw it away like he had been burned.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine. You really didn’t have to.” Her words were clipped and measured and biting.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I want to be here. Even if it’s just to sit here in the silence with you. Is that alright?”</p><p> </p><p>This time she lifted her head and looked up. She could see the empathy and sincerity in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” There was no acid to her words this time.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me just lay a flower on his grave first then I’ll come back and join you.”</p><p> </p><p>She saw he had in his hands a single yellow lily and her heart warmed just a little at the gesture. She heard it could mean thankfulness. She wondered what on earth the Duke Cloud Strife could be thankful for her father for.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Uh, please don’t kill me? /flees</p><p> <a href="https://www.qpjewellers.com/ruby-and-diamond-flower-petal-pendant-necklace-in-rose-gold-3352r.html">This</a> is the necklace Cloud gifts Tifa, btw. </p><p>Your kudos and comments are my lifeblood &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. like a rainfall down my soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Although this is set in a more medieval/ feudal world, I like to think it has more modern aesthetics as well. Kind of like Ylisse in Fire Emblem: Awakening and Fódlan in Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Mostly because I prefer more modern fashion looks and those are a lot easier to look up than the things they’d wear in the Middle Ages :u Creative license LET’S GO</p>
<p>This chapter is dedicated to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendaryboo">legendaryboo</a>! My (advanced) birthday gift to one of the best hype people around, and just genuinely one of the best new friends I’ve made this year. Love you bb 💞💞💞🎉🎉🎉</p>
<p>Happy birthday to Cloud as well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Is everything alright?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tifa wasn’t sure why the tone of his voice was so irritating. Maybe because he was so careful around her, to avoid stepping on any toes. It wasn’t his fault, she knew that much, and it was just something she had to deal with on her own. That being said, it wasn’t easy leaving her childhood home behind, even more so with the death of her father. At least it had been purchased by a loyal employee, one of Brian Lockhart’s right hand men. He promised to take care of it and made sure to let her know she was more than welcome to visit any time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tifa?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looked up at the second floor windows one last time. Both their rooms overlooked the busy street. She always people watching and her father liked the view it offered, picturesque with the wide open sky and the housetops of their community, Strife manor somewhere in the distance. Before turning around, she inhaled deeply, holding it at the top of her breath before exhaling out her anxieties, whatever she could anyway.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m okay. I just wanted to take one last look.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt an overwhelming sadness overcome her. Once she stepped in that carriage, the only life she ever knew would be gone. She let out a deep, melancholic sigh before turning around. She saw that his hand was outstretched, if only to assist her in getting in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>His hand was warm, not cold like she expected. She didn’t know why she thought they’d be icy, perhaps it was still her resistance to the entire arrangement but she couldn’t continue to think that way. It would only ruin whatever her father had worked for and make her life miserable. He was kind, in his own way, even if she still didn’t want to accept him. That at least made it easier to work on her prejudices, even if just a little bit. He sat across from her and she was thankful he didn’t presume.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She turned around and watched her home grow smaller and smaller into the distance, keeping her gaze trained on it until it vanished into the horizon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tifa wasn’t surprised that he was yanked off to only God knew where once they had arrived at the manor. She was, however, more than a little bit stunned to see him mouth a silent apology, sincerity brimming in his blue blue eyes. She’d be lying if she said that didn’t affect her, even just a little bit. Perhaps she had been too hasty judging him, but she’d still keep her walls up. Maybe it was just remnants of empathy from losing a parent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My Lady? If you would follow me to your quarters please.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could barely remember nodding before being ushered to the second floor, up the staircase and into the homier, cozier setup of the private living spaces of the family. The first floor was all marble and the imposing midtones of the walnut and mahogany all around. The second floor had warm cherries and oaks paired with the natural lightness of beech and maple. Her eyes were wide as she took in the more modern aesthetics of Strife manor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The Duke’s mother insisted on the separate interiors between the two floors. She said she wanted to keep business out of their home life.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah.” She blushed, embarrassed at having been caught unawares.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I was asked to assist you in any way I can until you feel comfortable choosing your own maids, Ma’am.” The older woman smiled kindly, the wrinkles by her eyes deepening. Tifa vaguely wondered if this is how her mother would have looked like, warm and kind and comforting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure to meet you, um…” She paused and frowned, trying to remember if the maid had given her name.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Johanna.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Johanna.” She reached out her hand, wavering when she saw the other woman’s eyes widening. “Oh!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her arm dropped like a lead weight by her side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s no problem at all, Ma’am. You come from a merchant family.” Johanna chuckled softly as they continued on to the end of the hall.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It seemed that the bedroom was sequestered from the rest of the spaces in the second floor. She was taken aback when she entered her bedroom. It was grand, a four poster bed in the middle with closets and dressers everywhere, and a stand mirror tucked in the corner. There was another door in the middle, shut tight, connecting to the adjacent room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s closed for now but that leads to the young Lord’s bedroom. The late Lord Alexander slept there, and this used to be Lady Claudia’s room,” Johanna explained as she pulled the curtains closed. Tifa nodded, a little numb and dizzy. She wasn’t sure whether she was happy or confused at having separate bedrooms from her husband to be. “Your clothes have already been sorted and arranged in the closets and dressers. We do apologize for having gone through your things but we thought it prudent to unpack for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No no, it’s alright.” Tifa waved her hand. “Thank you, I couldn’t have done it all by myself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you need anything, just ring the bell. One of the maids will come and assist.” She bowed lowly before taking her leave.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She found the bath and her nightgown had already been prepared, the enticing scent of sweet florals and sharp citruses calling to her. Her skin was warm and soft and pink when she had stepped out, her hair glossy and shiny. It had been an exhausting, emotional day and the warm soak in the tub had helped her immensely. She could feel the fatigue catching up to her but she didn’t think she was going to be able to fall asleep. The minute her head landed on the pillows, however, she drifted off. She was bone tired and there was no fight left in her, not tonight anyway. She dreamt of drowning in the ocean of his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She kept her eyes trained at her reflection on the mirror, wondering who that was that was staring back at her, wide eyed and somber. The few days she had spent in the manor were a whirlwind and now, she was seated at her vanity with hands all over her to tame her hair and put on the final finishing touches on her makeup. It was the same pinks, browns, peaches, and rose golds as her portrait, her lips painted a faintly coral brown this time with a shimmery gloss layered on top. It was a beautiful look and she wished her father could have seen it, imagining in her mind’s eye his gentle smile and warm touch. Her heart clenched painfully at the still raw memory. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to try and settle herself. The last wisps of sadness were still curling around her. When she opened them again, she found herself alone. It was like the women getting her ready were never even there, ghosts her thoughts had dredged up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had arranged her hair into a low chignon bun, delicate white and pale pink flowers artfully secured in place, pearls strewn about as well. Her veil was held in place with rose gold diamond hair pins, small so as to be unobtrusive, the gems clustered to look like a flower. It was the prettiest and most beautiful she ever felt and it crushed her to know that her father wasn’t there to walk her down the aisle. She tilted her head back to keep the tears at bay. It wouldn’t do for her to have mascara running down her cheeks as she made her way to her future husband.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My Lady?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She straightened at hearing Johanna’s voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes?” Her voice was soft and she could feel it tremble.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s time to make your way to the chapel, Ma’am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She rose from her seat, her back ramrod straight. This was everything her father dreamed for her. She would not disappoint.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could hardly hear collective gasps and applause when the doors were finally opened for her entrance, muffled by the sweet and haunting music of the organ and the choir. She kept her gaze low on the carpet as she made her way to the altar, slow like she had been instructed. The overflow of the white and pink flowers of her bouquet, the same ones as in her hair, hid her tension. She was gripping the stems so tightly she was afraid it might snap under the pressure, but her face was somehow still soft and neutral. Once she reached the end, it was going to be a matter of moments until she’d have to leave the Lockhart name completely behind. She spent the days since her father’s death steeling her heart for this.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If she was completely being honest with herself, he didn’t look half bad himself. Despite all that she heard, her future, practically really, husband seemed to be a kind, gentle man, based off of his actions since her father’s death anyway. Maybe he’d change, maybe he wouldn’t, but for now she was just more than thankful he wasn’t looking at her like she was some doll or trophy to be paraded around. The slight widening of his eyes and the infinitesimal tilt of his lips told her he was not expecting what she would look like on her wedding day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her dress was made with a lovely ivory silk and a textured tulle in the same color, with a deep, sloping ‘v’ that tapered to just past her sternum, with a matching cut on the back. The fine mesh fabric was pleated and arranged in a diagonal on the bodice, giving it dimension. There were three beaded pearl trims under the bust to the waist, spaced out evenly, that made her torso look long and lean. The bishop sleeves of her dress were sheer and airy, attached to the straps that sloped over the curve of her shoulder. The same pearl trim was on the cuffs, starting at the wrist bone and two more moving up towards the middle of her forearms. The skirt of it was full, cut in an A line, and flowy, the fabric dancing around her each time she took a step. The veil trailed beautifully behind her, the layers of silk, tulle, and lace a wonderland of dizzyingly dreamy whites.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She heard the slight rustle of his suit, a navy with an even deeper almost blue black lining the edges of his lapels and coat pockets. It was dashing on him, paired with similarly colored slacks and a white dress shirt, the silver satin of his vest and of his pocket square peeking out, and his full Windsor knotted tie bright against the relative darkness of the blue and soft and easy against the starkness of the white. She managed to stop herself from flinching when he approached to lift her veil, focusing instead on the endlessness of his eyes. She could almost breath saltwater into her lungs, despite their distance from the sea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You look beautiful.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just three words and she already wanted to unravel. Who was this man and why did she always feel like he could stare deep into her soul like they’ve known each other for lifetimes? The haze she was in suddenly cleared when the pastor coughed and addressed their guests.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The officiant’s voice was booming despite its lowness. She felt like she was going into a trance and the sudden warmth and pressure on her hand brought her back down. She felt his fingers curl together with hers, the faint brush of calloused fingertips and blunt nails grounding her. Reflexively, she squeezed his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The music was angelic and the readings and homilies pierced through hearts. Every time they sat or stood it felt mechanical, but he had always offered a hand to help her stand, as if he could tell her knees were weak beneath her billowy skirt. She couldn’t even remember their vows, just that they were whispered, her lips against his ear and his against hers, everyone’s back turned to give them a semblance of privacy. Everyone, though, watched them slip their wedding rings on each other’s hands, the soft clink of metal ringing loudly in her ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His was simple, matte white gold with faint etchings to give it some dimension. Somehow, she thought it suited him to wear a ring, precious metal on a warrior’s hand. The romanticism of it wasn’t lost on her, softness in the light of the strength of his hand, fragility basking in the roughness of his touch. Her rings though were a different story. They were made to sparkle with even the faintest sliver of light. It felt like both a blessing and a curse when he slid it on her finger, his hands shaking and his touch feather light, like he was afraid he’d hurt her. It made her heart ache.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her wedding band, a simple micro pavé ring in white gold, sat comfortably above her engagement ring. He had given her a statement piece, a three carat brilliant cut diamond set on a plain rose gold band. The center gem was surrounded by a halo of half carat diamonds arranged to make it look halfway between a star and a flower, much like the pins in her hair. The prong setting gave it its characteristic points, the spaces in between the half carat gems filled with even smaller, but no less precious, diamonds.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt herself crumble inwards when he slotted his lips gently against hers at the end of the ceremony, almost thankful he had put his hand on the small of her back for support when he kissed away the tears rimming her eyes. It was so unfair how warm he was, how her body arched into him as he pulled away. There was just something about him that made her want more, that made her tremble and her mind hazy. She thought she would hate him for agreeing to marry a complete stranger, but all she wanted to do was tuck herself into his arms and let everything go. She imagined her father standing behind her, her mother in tow, smiling and when she finally peeled herself away from him, they were gone. All those nights spent in the cold had finally broken her, and the only thing she wanted was the blazing heat of her husband.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her hair was undone, falling down in loose, easy waves. The pins that held her veil in place were now by her ears, two on one side and one on the other. She could feel the weight of everyone’s stares on her, but she was distracted by the curl of his fingers on her hip. The press of his fingertips and the soft nudge of his shoulder guided her as they went to the center table. The whispers were getting louder as they passed each table, Tifa nodding her head and smiling mechanically as they moved along.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They whispered of her beauty, her skin and the faint freckling of it that glowed in the dying afternoon sun. They breathed out how dark and rich the waves of her hair were, how the gems by ears and the multiple pearls threaded through looked like scattered stars in the night sky. They murmured about how handsome they looked together and what a gorgeous family they’d have one day, how their young Duke was lucky to have snatched for himself a bride most fair with a boon of a successful merchant enterprise. They all spoke reverently, but also disdainfully, with sugar on their lips but poison on their tongues. She wondered if he could hear or if he simply turned the other way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you alright? You’re shaking.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She blinked as she looked up at him, tilting her head just a little bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.” She was lying through her teeth. By how he pressed his fingers more insistently into her hip bone, she knew that he could tell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Dinner first, then we cut the cake. We can make our way back to the manor afterwards. You must be starving.” She was struck by his tone. It left no room for argument.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, my lord.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cloud.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her eyes snapped wide open.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I want you to call me Cloud. I don’t want any distance between us, if we can help it, alright Tifa?” His cold blue eyes seemed to warm as her cheeks reddened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright then…” She swallowed thickly, pausing for just a moment. “Cloud.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His soft smile nearly blinded her with its gentleness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wasn’t sure how it all happened, how she had basically stripped him out of his wedding suit and pushed him onto their marital bed. He seemed surprised that she was taking control but didn’t seem against it, his blue eyes dark and stormy. He was eager in undoing the zipper on her back and peeling it open, the sleeves threatening to slip on her shoulders.  His hands moved up and down over each bump of her spine, gently exploring the creamy expanse of her skin. His touch was soft and slow, like he wanted to memorize the texture of her. The rough brush of his calluses made a frisson of heat lance through her, making her knees dig more insistently into his hips. She wondered if his caresses on her back made her unravel, what more would it do if they tweaked and rolled her nipples, if they stroked her folds gently, if they worked her completely open for him?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you sure about this?” He hardly seemed believable as he mouthed at her jaw before pulling down her top completely, kissing along the column of her throat. She felt his hands drift up and down the sides of her body, as if to soothe, when he nipped at her collar bone. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She slid down off of him in response, pulling her hands out of her sleeves and letting her dress pool on the floor. She almost smiled with satisfaction when she saw his eyes widen and heard him suck in air sharply. It grew when she undid her bra and dropped it, his eyes zoning in on her hardening nipples.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My eyes are up here, Cloud.” She let his name roll over her tongue like it was candy. She straddled his lap again, gently guiding his hands to her waist. She felt him pick at her garter belt. It was all she had on left, plus a scrap of lace that could barely be called underwear and stockings so sheer she may as well have not been wearing any. She leaned into him when his hands drifted south, letting out a low groan as he massaged the bare skin between her hip and the top of the nylons. His eyes were glued there, as if he were entranced. “You like?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt the air get punched out of her lungs when he flipped their positions, his forearms on the sides of her face caging her in.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You never answered me.” His face was dangerously close to hers. She was sure he saw her gulp. “Are you sure you want this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Better this than to drown my sorrows in alcohol, don’t you think?” She felt tears start to prick the corner of her eyes as he lay down on her. She was surprised he didn’t feel heavy at all, warm and comforting instead. She blinked her tears away as she tilted her head a little to the side. He was still supporting himself on his forearms, taking care not to put his weight on her. She could tell by the mild quake of and the strain on his muscles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tifa, you’re my wife. In the short time that we’ve known each other, I’ve grown to care for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She turned to face him, stunned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You should have told me you’re still grieving. This isn’t important. It can wait.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cloud, please. I swear to you I’m thinking straight.” The dam inside of her finally cracked, freeing all the emotions that had built up since her father’s announcement of his plans to have her marry. Her voice was tremulous as she reached a hand to touch his cheek. She was sure she didn’t imagine him leaning into her touch. “Please. I want this. I want you to make me forget the pain and remind me what it means to be alive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t remember Cloud pushing himself to kneel over her and when her legs were pushed up to her knees. She could feel his hands slide on the backs of her thighs, his blunt nails dragging against her hosiery. Her heart couldn’t help but stutter at the evening glow surrounding her husband, her <em> husband </em>, how almost surreal it was to watch him lean himself above her after letting his length free. His blue eyes gleamed when he leaned in to kiss her forehead softly. She felt his affection bleed into her skin.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He spoke to her in hushed tones as his hand moved southward, lingering on the damp thatch of curls before he started to stroke her through the lace. She revelled in the roughness of his touch and the texture of the fabric. Her mouth fell open into an ‘o’ when he pushed it aside, a groan dying in her throat as he moved the pads of his fingers in a rhythmic up and down and up and down the sides of her entrance, never once touching her there. Her back flew off the bed when he finally thrust his fingers inside and began to scissor her open, working slowly like he wanted to watch her fall apart beneath him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her nails dragged along his back when he pulled out but he kissed away her complaint. She watched him through hazy red eyes as he leaned back on his haunches and held himself in the palm of his hand. Dazed, her hands moved on their own to support her legs, cradling the back of her knees to keep herself in place for him. She shuddered visibly as he held her gaze the entire time, while he pumped his length leisurely, spreading the precum all over. She keened when he rubbed the tip along her folds, getting himself even wetter, with her this time, to make the slide in easier.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wasn’t sure whose broken cries she heard as he pushed in. Maybe it was the both of them. Her hands fell to the side as she fisted the sheets. His own took their place, keeping her propped up and practically folded in half. All she could feel now was the furnace of their bodies meeting. It was almost too much and not enough at the same time. It was dizzying being with him. She couldn’t help but start to cry when he had completely filled her, the staccato of her heart starting to overwhelm her. Her arms wrapped around his neck reflexively when he kissed away her tears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me take care of you, please. I know what you’re going through. I want to help.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt guilt well up inside of her. How could she have hated this man when all he wanted to do was make sure she was okay? She didn’t give him a chance, didn’t give her father a chance. Why did she doubt him? He always only did what was best for her. He wouldn’t have pushed and fought for her marriage with Cloud if he didn’t think he’d be a good husband to her. She felt something inside her snap, like the last of her worries were finally gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you, Cloud.” She pulled him down for a kiss, eyes fluttering shut as she tangled her fingers into his hair. It was even softer and smoother than she could have ever imagined. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled out almost completely in response, leaving just the tip of him inside before pushing back in and setting a languid but no less fulfilling pace. He dragged out of her a long, drawn out sigh and she drank in all that escaped his lips in turn. The only thing she could feel now was the pleasure of their bodies coming together, his soothing touches and soft kisses, his sweet words and sharp breaths. She dug her heels into the curve of his backside, pushing him even deeper inside whenever his hips snapped together with hers. When he finally pushed her over the edge, she could feel him unwinding completely soon after. There was an emptiness inside of her when he pulled himself out, but relief washed over her when he kissed her cheek, whispering he’d be back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The last thing she remembered before the heaviness of her eyelids gave way was the warmth of a washcloth and the gentleness of his touch.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Blindly, she groped at the space behind her. It was empty but she could still feel the heat from Cloud’s chest on her back. Her legs were a little numb (but pleasantly so) from being tangled with his through the night. She could still imagine his hand spread over her belly as he pulled her in close, the coarseness of his stubble, and the velvet of his lips while he kissed her at the juncture of her neck. Her cheeks burned at the memory as she hid her face behind her hands. She peeked between her fingers when she heard footsteps coming closer and closer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She shivered when he pried her hands away from her face. Twisting to lie down flat on her back, she almost swore when she saw the amused smile (but gentle, oh so gentle and kind and warm, </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>) on his face. She felt the bed dip with his weight when he sat down beside her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” she whispered back, pulling up the sheets to cover her bareness. She was sure he didn’t miss it. She knew his gaze fell to her hands and moved upwards, watching as she covered herself. She was thankful he didn’t say anything, choosing instead to brush her hair away from her forehead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t hurt you last night, did I?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her cheeks reddened even more than she thought they ever could.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“N-no.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart almost stopped when he bent down and kissed her, soft and sweet. He didn’t even have to ask and her mouth fell open on its own. She draped her hands over him when his tongue entered her mouth. Her eyes were half lidded when they pulled away, but the sparkle in his blue blue eyes was clear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I um.” She smiled as she watched him turn his head away and scratch the back of his head. The redness on his cheeks was adorable. “I uh, don’t know what came over me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” She sat up straight, unmindful of the sheet falling away, grabbing his forearm as she leaned forward. She pressed her forehead against the curve of his shoulder. “I um. I didn’t mean for last night to sound like I was using you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You weren’t.” Her eyes widened as he readjusted himself, finding herself falling into his embrace. She pressed her hands on his chest but didn’t try to move, savoring the domesticity of their closeness. “You weren’t using me, I mean. I wanted to do it, if that was what you needed from me. I won’t mention it again, if you don’t want me to. All I want is for you to do whatever you need to start feeling better.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She looked up at him and was met with the softest expression she had ever seen. Whoever thought this man was cold and ruthless in real life as he was in war didn’t know him. He was a decorated soldier, a brilliant leader who inspired loyalty from his troops, but he was also just a man like any other.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience anyway, if you ask me.” She could see the wolfishness in his grin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Cloud!” She shoved him, pushing him on the bed. She shrieked when he pulled her down to lay flat on top of him, laughing when he kissed the soft spot behind her ear. She melted in his arms.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here are my references for this chapter!</p>
<p><a href="https://www.maggiesottero.com/rebecca-ingram/joanne/16561">Tifa’s wedding dress</a><br/><a href="https://cassandralynne.com/products/flower-bridal-hair-pin-set-in-rose-gold">Tifa’s hair pins</a><br/><a href="https://www.dhgate.com/product/three-piece-navy-groom-tuxedos-for-wedding/408624339.html?skuAttr=989900:1392247">Cloud’s wedding suit</a><br/><a href="https://www.withclarity.com/blog/2019/10/08/top-womens-rose-gold-engagement-rings/">Tifa’s engagement ring</a>, the star halo diamond ring</p>
<p>Not sure if you guys noticed but I avoided using Cloud’s name intentionally, up until the wedding scene and the first time it’s used is by the officiant, the next time is him saying he wants Tifa to call him that.</p>
<p>My writing ended up pretty flowery and melancholic actually this chapter, did not think it would, but I like what I came up with and I hope you did too.</p>
<p>Your kudos and comments are my lifeblood &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. and i wonder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you everyone who’s read and commented so far. Still trying to wrap my head around how much you guys enjoy this &lt;3 I’ve been so inspired writing this so far. It’s so fun researching everything and I learn something new every time I do, whether it’s clothes or food and wine pairings even though I don’t really drink LOL, or me trying to check if certain things were doable in the medieval ages. Not that this is medieval-set specifically, but it is kinda sorta there. Anyway, please enjoy this next chapter &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They had gone to sleep in separate rooms after their wedding night. Tifa wasn’t sure if she was relieved or frustrated, but she remembered Johanna saying that Cloud’s parents slept in separate, adjoining bedrooms with just a door between them. One step and she’d be in Cloud’s bedroom or he’d be in hers. It had already been a week since then but the burn of his touch and the gleam in his eyes still haunted her every time she lay down to sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Wandering through the second floor certainly wasn’t helping either, not with little touches of Cloud, his parents, and his ancestors decorating every little corner. She thought the portrait of him and his parents at the top of the stairs was the most beautiful, and piercing, of all. He was a young boy then, probably no more than ten. His mother’s touch on his shoulders was gentle, his father’s gaze stern but still kind somehow. She reached out to touch the frame’s right side, where his mother was sitting. Would the touch of Agnes Lockhart be that soft? Her father’s stories were all she had to go by.</p><p> </p><p>She was surprised there was still a nursery set up just across the hall from their bedrooms. It was immaculate, despite not having been in use for years. She wondered if this was a permanent fixture, or Cloud and his parents just never thought to have it converted. Many of the pieces were antiques, the crib with its pale blue colored canopy and stitching of birds in flight positioned by the wall near the door. There were dressers filled with old but perfectly usable baby’s clothes, the cotton still soft and downy. She imagined generations of Strife younglings being nursed in the corner, rocked to peace by the gentle motions from the rocking chair. She turned the key on the music box nearby. It played a familiar tune. Her father did say one of the few things her mother did before passing was sing a lullaby after a feeding. She found herself immersed in a wave of nostalgia.</p><p> </p><p>Her favorite room was the library with the reading nook tucked in the corner. It was easy to get lost in the books, turning the pages that have yellowed with age. There weren’t any new ones, but they were all clean. She smiled to herself. Was Cloud just not the reading type or was he a collector of classics and older editions? Shaking her head, she picked up a book at random and began reading. It was a book about romantic chivalry and a man so in love with the idea that he became a knight-errant. She was still there when he found her, softness in his eyes as she peered over her book, her legs tucked beneath her. The sound of his boots was loud in the quiet of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Interesting?”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes shut when he reached out. Cautiously opening one, she saw him tuck her hair behind her ear. Blinking, she turned to face Cloud but found he had placed a generous amount of space in between them. He was respecting her boundaries, like he said he would. She remembered the sincerity in the ocean of his eyes (she’d never tire of thinking that they were like that) when he said he’d never do anything she didn’t want him to, that he’d wait for her to say it was alright for him to approach.</p><p> </p><p>“I got to the part when he was fighting windmills, thinking they were giants.” She inched closer, spreading the book on her lap. Her finger pointed at the paragraph she had been reading up to now. “See? He and his squire happened upon a field of windmills and he’s about to charge at one.”</p><p> </p><p>She could feel his breath fan over her skin when he peered over her shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“I see. Interesting tactic though, one knight charging with his lance at the ready.”</p><p> </p><p>She hummed before snapping the book closed.</p><p> </p><p>“What would you have done?”</p><p> </p><p>“Retreated, probably. Send a few scouts to map the area. The giants weren’t going to be moving anywhere anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>She was tempted to lean into him but stayed her body.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re windmills. Of course they’re not going to move!”</p><p> </p><p>His chuckle made her stomach turn. She was thankful she was already seated. Untucking her legs and placing her feet flat on the floor, she turned to face him to continue her argument. Her heart leapt in her chest when she suddenly saw how close his face was. Barely an inch more and their noses would brush and their lips would meet. He didn’t move, leaving it all up to her. She was paralyzed anyway, with the steely edge of his eyes holding her down.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes but even if they were giants, they didn’t seem to be causing trouble anyway. If that were the case, I’d move on with my men. If I hear otherwise though, that’s a different story.” He pulled back but she swore he leaned in for a moment, the tips of their noses touching. It had happened too quickly that her mind could have just made it up.</p><p> </p><p>Tifa swallowed thickly. She was playing a very dangerous game with this man whose patience seemed endless. He looked like a cat who had gotten the cream.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>She decided to go through the gardens that day but quickly dropped the idea when she saw Cloud inspecting his men. Most of his other soldiers were stationed throughout Strife lands but they maintained a small household division, that much she knew at least. There were barracks on their estate, training grounds, and an armory. They had workhorses and prized riding horses and sequestered in a different section were the warhorses that they bred and trained. The fact that her husband (a shiver ran down her spine when she caught herself thinking that: her <em> husband </em>) was a soldier and a decorated veteran was never lost on her. </p><p> </p><p>She remembered her father and their merchant partners telling her of stories of the men who carried the Strife banner, who went above and beyond during skirmishes from invading forces from the north. She heard of how it was precisely because of the defensive and covert tactics that they employed, he was able to keep their casualty count low and morale high.</p><p> </p><p>Cloud wasn’t with his men, not exactly anyway, but he wasn’t physically separated from them either. His gaze was focused downward, on the swords and shields on the ground. She could hear their muffled conversation, something about how they should probably be looking for more blacksmiths to see what could be repaired and what needed replacing. </p><p> </p><p>There was raucous laughter too, trading war stories about this, that, and the other. His laugh was small and quiet, but by no means disingenuous, and he shook his head in amusement more times than she could count. These men would heed his beck and call should they need to go to war, they’d even die for him because he did everything he could to make sure that they didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes widened when Cloud turned towards her general direction. She was sure he saw her half-hidden behind a wall, by the slight upturn of his lips and the narrowing of his eyes. She quickly made her escape, picking up her skirts and making her way to the gardens she had intended to visit. She passed Johanna by on the way, the maid making a comment about how bright red her face was. She made up a quick excuse about her skin being sometimes sensitive to the heat and the sun. It must have been one of those days. She was glad the older woman said nothing more. The sky was a little cloudy, but clear and blue, and there was a cool breeze wafting through.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t sure how but she managed to balance the full tea tray she was carrying without dropping anything as she knocked on the door. She had gone to the kitchens to find something to nibble on when she caught the staff scurrying about and filling a tray with a pot of white tea, freshly baked scones, clotted cream, and a small variety of homemade jams. When she volunteered to bring it to Cloud herself, they had quickly added more for her. Gisela, bless her soul but probably not at this moment, sent her off with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye, making that knowing look even more frustrating to see. They got along well, the senior cook a handful of years older than her, but the deviousness in her face made Tifa wonder if this was what sisters were really like.</p><p> </p><p>She felt some modicum of satisfaction when he opened the door and stumbled backwards.</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t…” She raised her eyebrow as he coughed, entering his office and forcing him to step aside to let her through. “I wasn’t expecting you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was hungry and they were preparing your afternoon tea. I thought I’d join you.” She tried to put on some airs, to show she was more confident than she actually was. “Unless that’s a problem?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, not at all. My office is a mess though, so just be careful.”</p><p> </p><p>There were papers everywhere and what looked to be binders, but she wasn’t sure because even those were half hidden under other things. She wondered how he could find anything in this place.</p><p> </p><p>“I can tell what you’re thinking but I can find everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Organized chaos?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded, his laugh nervous. Her gaze drifted up and watched as he scratched the back of his head guiltily. She remembered how soft it was and she began to waver. She actually remembered more than just that and it was making her start to feel a little warm.</p><p> </p><p>“I know a thing or two about that.” She hummed as she started to make her way to the sofa set and table meant for lounging during his breaks.</p><p> </p><p>“I saw you earlier.”</p><p> </p><p>Tifa nearly tripped over her own feet. She was disappointed to see he had recovered quickly from his brief embarrassment and diverted the topic back to her.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?” She breathed deeply, trying to steady herself.</p><p> </p><p>“You know.”</p><p> </p><p>She could see his smirk from the corner of his eyes. Huffing, she turned her back towards him and stared at the low table she meant to place the tray on.</p><p> </p><p>“This is supposed to be a tea table, not another desk for you to put your papers on. I can’t tell who’s worse, you or my father.”</p><p> </p><p>She heard the scrape of a chair from behind her and hurried footsteps drawing near. She couldn’t help the smile growing on her face as she watched him scramble to put things away.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t usually entertain in my office.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or remember to eat. Johanna told me, that’s why I come bearing gifts.” She raised the tea tray she was carrying.</p><p> </p><p>“You seem to get along well with her.” She zoned out just a little when Cloud took the tray from her hands, their fingers brushing briefly.</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” She watched him set down the tray on the now clean table. “Yeah. She’s very maternal. I’d like to think my mother would have been like her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come, sit. Have tea and cake with me while you tell me about Agnes. Or the stories you’ve been told anyway. I’m sure Brian had many.” The sensation of his hand on her lower back was more than welcome. She let him guide her to the couch, visibly pleased that the space between them when they sat down wasn’t quite as large as when they were together in the library. It only then just occurred to her what he just said.</p><p> </p><p>“Y-you know my mother’s name?” Her eyes dilated.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”</p><p> </p><p>She was relieved he had decided to pour the tea instead of looking at her.  She was absolutely sure she had stars in her eyes and her gaze was soft. No need to add more fuel to the fire that was Cloud Strife.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>She left as soon as she had a moment alone. She spent most of the day with Johanna, having given in her pestering about finally selecting her own personal maid. She was more than satisfied when Tifa had selected Mathilde, a young and eager girl whose mother was a hairdresser and father a tailor. She was one of the few girls Johanna had often called, having just started working at the manor and had no permanent assignment yet. Her experience helping her parents was going to prove useful in helping Tifa get ready, especially for the more formal events that the Duke and Duchess Strife would traditionally hold.</p><p> </p><p>She was thankful for the cobblestone path, and the privacy her guards had given her. Cloud said she was free to come and go as she pleased, for so long as one of the guards would accompany her. Biggs and Wedge were the nicest ones and she had been acquainted with them before. Though Lockhart Trading was more involved with supplying other business owners with the things that they needed, they did import some commercial items that they had sold in the first floor of their office. She had seen the pair of them shopping for some fine liquor from abroad, to celebrate their promotions.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be right over there if you need us, Ma’am.” She watched as Biggs pointed to the tree that wasn’t too far away from her father’s grave. “Let us know when you’re ready to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wish you wouldn’t address me so formally. Who do you think was the one who sold you the alcohol that gave you a terrible, but worthwhile, hangover the next day?” Her voice was teasing and her tone was light, but there was somber nostalgia in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You know we can’t do that. It’s already improper that we speak and act so casually, otherwise.” Wedge let her down gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Cloud won’t mind you know. I think I’d give him a what for if he did.” She laughed as she clutched the flowers she had brought this time: gladioli, carnations, and orchids this time.</p><p> </p><p>“We’d like to see you try, Ma’am.” They both gave her a two fingered salute before they crossed the short distance to where they were going to wait.</p><p> </p><p>She sat down by her parents’ graves, uncaring of how dirty her skirt was going to be, laying the flowers in the space between the tombstones. Her fingers brushed the engraved dates of their deaths, her mother’s just a few days after her birthday twenty years ago, her father’s in February of the year she got married. She often sat down in the quiet, having a one-way conversation but she knew they heard. It was difficult for her to move on, still grieving but everyday she hoped she was taking one step forward. Maybe her father would look at her sternly, say she should apply the same earnestness she was showing in visiting their graves to getting to know her husband better. She imagined her mother would chide him gently and say Tifa was thrust into a life she never asked for and would need some time to adjust. Tears pricked her eyes at the thought.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought this was where you might be. I didn’t want to intrude but I just couldn’t help myself.”</p><p> </p><p>She found herself looking up at Cloud, his shadow cast over her. In his hand were two yellow lilies, like the one he had left on her father’s grave during his funeral.</p><p> </p><p>“How did you find me?” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand but made no motion to move. </p><p> </p><p>“I have my sources.”</p><p> </p><p>She turned to look at her bodyguards, the pair of them jolting and quickly turning around as if they had nothing to do with it.</p><p> </p><p>“Not that difficult to get information out of your own men, my dear.” </p><p> </p><p>Tifa stuck her tongue out and narrowed her eyes at Biggs and Wedge, but she wasn’t really angry anyway. She should have told Cloud she visited her parents’ graves every Sunday in the afternoon.</p><p> </p><p>“I should pay my respects.”</p><p> </p><p>She was thankful a breeze had come by the same time as he bent down to lay the blooms by the tombstones of her parents. Even if they weren’t touching, his effect on her was still as strong as ever. She admired his profile: the angles of his face and the solidness of his body.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you remember, during my father’s funeral, you laid a yellow lily on his grave?” She had quickly blurted out her question, covering her mouth with her hands as her eyes widened with embarrassment. It turned into surprise when he offered a hand to help her up. She had continued falling into him because of the momentum of standing, her cheek flat against his chest, broader than she remembered it being, for the briefest of moments. She pushed back and looked down, making dusting off the dirt an excuse.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” It was short and succinct, like she always thought he was.</p><p> </p><p>“What were you thankful for?”</p><p> </p><p>“That Brian wanted to secure a future for you. If not for his immense love for his daughter, we would have never met and this would never have been arranged. I’d probably be married to a meek girl, if kind at the very least, or maybe even a spoiled one. Not you though.”</p><p> </p><p>She shuddered at the piercing look he gave her, how he held her gaze with his. His answer surprised her, how forthcoming he was and his self-assuredness.</p><p> </p><p>“I met your father before the arrangement had been finalized. There had been many offers but yours stood out to me the most. You had nothing to your name but your reputation and your business, but even then those were enough for my advisers,” Cloud confessed. She could hear the awkwardness he felt. “But I wanted to know more, why he was offering up your hand in marriage and what he, you, wanted out of it. Most want power and wealth and marriage to a duke would certainly offer that. Most of the other families wanted that, they were born into it, seeking husbands and wives of high pedigree and renown for their children.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say.</p><p> </p><p>“He said he wasn’t going to lie and say money wasn’t a factor, but he was just worried about you. You have no brothers and sisters and no family here to count on. He just wanted to make sure you were taken care of. None of us expected it was…” He trailed off. He didn’t need to finish for her to know what he was going to say next. “He did call me a well-mannered and considered young man, even after coming back from the war up north. Don’t know where he got that impression but I appreciated it.”</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out, to ease him out of his self-derision. She felt at ease when he put his hand on top of hers, rubbing the back of it with his thumb in soft and gentle motions.</p><p> </p><p>“He thought we’d be good for each other. His honesty and bluntness surprised me but I figured he’d have raised his daughter the same way.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you thankful for now?” Her voice had grown soft, eyes still focused on their joined hands.</p><p> </p><p>“You. Without them, you wouldn’t be here and have become the woman you are today.” She didn’t know that underneath his bravado and that steely edge was a romantic. Her heart fluttered at his words.</p><p> </p><p>The sun was starting to set when they finally left, Cloud having adjusted their hands so their fingers were twined with each other. She supposed he was taking advantage of her taking the initiative, and she didn’t mind the idea at all.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you send your carriage back home?” She surprised herself with how easy that came out, when she had been so against everything in the beginning.</p><p> </p><p>“There’s no point having two. Yours has enough space for the both of us anyway.” He stood by the door, his free hand gripping the side as he flipped the other one to help her inside.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we go to your parents’ grave? I’d like to offer some flowers and prayers too. Take the time to introduce myself as well.” She wrung her skirt, nervous, her nails digging into her lap as she gathered the fabric into her fist. She focused on the softness of the velvet and the sight of Biggs closing the door in her peripheral vision.</p><p> </p><p>“How about next week?”</p><p> </p><p>She looked up and saw the tenderness in Cloud’s eyes, the kind set of his mouth. She didn’t move when he reached out to touch her knee.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Biggs and Wedge still accompanied her to her parents’ grave the week after, but she had two bouquets of flowers in her arms and a husband with four yellow lilies in tow. He said it was better to visit her parents’ resting place first. His parents’ graves were in the family mausoleum by the edge of the forest that encroached upon their lands and the smaller of the two lakes on their property.</p><p> </p><p>She found herself thankful too in a similar fashion to Cloud when they had finally made their way to the tombs of Alexander and Claudia Strife: thank you for raising a good and kind man. She knelt down in front of the flat tombstones that had sealed their resting places, reaching out to brush her fingertips on their names before clasping them together in prayer.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>It was like he was a little boy on Christmas day. He had rushed her out of her room the moment she was dressed, Mathilde stunned at how the master of the house was acting. Who could blame her? Everyone was used to seeing him stoic and in control, the occasional show of emotions coming through when he was particularly touched or vulnerable. Today? Today was different and Tifa didn’t even know why. It was exciting though, seeing him rush through the door that connected their rooms because he had a surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“Cloud, wait! I can walk by myself you know.” She didn’t want him to drop her wrist though and was disappointed when he did.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, I was excited. I heard back from Dominic, our stable master, a few days ago. I had a hard time keeping it to myself.” His expression was sheepish but his eyes still sparkled.</p><p> </p><p>“Stable master?” She raised her eyebrow delicately as they continued their walk, slow and measured this time. “Is that why I’m in pants and riding boots this time? Instead of a dress or a skirt?”</p><p> </p><p>He hummed a vague reply. She found the soft melody he was crooning oddly familiar and comforting, like she’d heard before. She chased the thought away when he slowed down and shortened his gait, falling in step with her. It made her want to snatch his fingers when they brushed against hers and feel the warmth emanate from her hand to the rest of her body.</p><p> </p><p>“Lord Cloud, Lady Tifa! You came just at the right time. We’re just about to get the new arrival settled in. She’s a beauty, if I may say so myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Tifa’s gaze locked onto the beautiful beast behind their stable master. She was absolutely mesmerized by the warm gold of its body and the pale almost silvery blonde of its mane and tail. She had always been so entranced by palominos but this one was beyond comparison. The body was sleek and well-muscled and the mare was well-behaved and maybe a little bit shy. Everything around her was new, after all, and Tifa could sympathize.</p><p> </p><p>“May I?” She reached out her hand, fingers curled still like touching the horse would hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. She’s yours.” Cloud’s voice was soft and low in her ear, but she was still so taken with the mare to even notice how close they were.</p><p> </p><p>“Mine…?” She approached the palomino, resting her hand gingerly on her muzzle. “What kind is she?”</p><p> </p><p>“Palomino Morgan, Ma’am. Got her from the same breeder as Lord Cloud’s Morgan but her dam and sire are different.” She could barely notice Michael’s sheepish expression as he turned away from her and faced her husband. “I figured if we were going to get another one anyway, may as well be a mare that might go well with your stallion, if you don’t mind my being bold. They both have champion backgrounds and we can raise the younglings to keep or to sell.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t mind. My wife looks happy, after all.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her thoughts lingered on what he just said: his </span>
  <em>
    <span>wife</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She felt his hand rest on her shoulder but she still kept stroking the horse, in between her eyes this time. She swore the beauty leaned into her touch and neighed softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Does she have a name?”</p><p> </p><p>“We were hoping you would have some idea of that.”</p><p> </p><p>This time she looked up at Cloud.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the name of your horse?” She was absolutely breathless.</p><p> </p><p>“My Morgan? Fenrir. I have a warhorse too, Sleipnir, but he’s not in this stable.”</p><p> </p><p>“Freya, then. I think that’s a lovely name for such a lovely horse.” She turned back and smiled at the golden animal. “Don’t you think so?”</p><p> </p><p>She whinnied in response.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the occasion though? I can’t imagine you’d just up and get me a horse without even knowing whether I like or even know how to ride.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mathilde and Johanna told me that they saw riding attire among your things when they unpacked your things. I may have also seen you here with Dominic, admiring the inhabitants of our prized stables.”</p><p> </p><p>The stable master gave her a knowing wink.</p><p> </p><p>“So I thought it would be the perfect gift.” The grin on his face turned boyish and all she could see was a young man perhaps trying to win her over. She didn’t even realize that it was already May. “Happy birthday, Tifa.”</p><p> </p><p>“Happy birthday, Ma’am.”</p><p> </p><p>She could hardly hear Dominic’s words. Her entire world coalesced on her husband.</p><p> </p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p><p>She stared up at the tester of her bed, the canopy a light dove gray cloth that seemed to glow like starlight. She couldn’t believe how quickly the months had passed when each day seemed to go at such a leisurely pace. The days seemed long as she tried to busy herself, writing letters to the employees of Lockhart Trading and even visiting, on occasion, and getting herself acclimated to life in the manor. Perhaps she could ask Cloud if she could be more involved with something. She had never been good at sitting still and doing nothing, and she wanted to put the years of helping her father in his business to use.</p><p> </p><p>She should learn to run the household as well. Johanna could be of help, Gisela too. It was at least one burden off of Cloud’s shoulders. If she remembered correctly, there was an empty room near Cloud’s office, smaller, but she could have it repurposed to a place where she could work: balance the budget, make sure they were well-stocked, and even maybe take on some of the more entrepreneurial responsibilities that Cloud had. Wasn’t the integration of her father’s business key to their agreement, after all?</p><p> </p><p>Her thoughts drifted to her husband. She could see his soft blond hair and piercing blue eyes clearly in the dark, his mouth quirking upward in amusement. She wondered if anyone could see past the stoic exterior he had put up. The older members of the staff and the more senior members of his troops could, probably, but she imagined there were little things only she could see.</p><p> </p><p>She found that he was observant, sweet, thoughtful, and considerate, if a little clumsy when caught unawares. She remembered how flustered he had been when she brought him afternoon tea, embarrassed at the state of his office, and then how quickly he had rebounded from that. She recalled every time he teased her, how he waited patiently for her to reach out to him, how he took advantage when she finally did. She felt her cheeks warm at the memories. She turned to her side and hid her face behind her hands, pulling her knees to her chest in an attempt to calm her heart down.</p><p> </p><p>She could fall in love with him, with his boyish charm and genteel treatment of her. Maybe she was already. She fell asleep dreaming of the vast ocean of his eyes as she crossed the threshold between their rooms, slipping into the comfort of him, and breathing in the warm, smoky, woodsy scent that was entirely Cloud.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bonus points if anyone can guess what book Tifa is reading in the first scene.</p><p>Here are my references for this chapter!</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://www.frugalflower.com/funeral-flowers-guide">Funeral flowers guide</a><br/><a href="https://www.thesprucepets.com/best-breeds-for-first-time-horse-owners-1886169">Horse breeds for first time owners</a><br/><a href="https://www.thesprucepets.com/most-popular-horse-breeds-1886146">Most popular horse breeds</a><br/><a href="https://www.thesprucepets.com/morgan-horse-breed-profile-1886128">About Morgans</a><br/><a href="http://www.morgancolors.com/">Morgan colors</a><br/><a href="https://www.thesprucepets.com/meet-the-arabian-horse-1886131">About Arabians</a><br/><a href="https://www.prohorse.com.au/blogs/pa/arabian-horse">Arabian colors</a></p><p> </p><p>Funny tidbit. I was looking up popular medieval names for the two OCs that are going to show up now and again, Gisela and Mathilde, and found one of the best ones ever.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>Ermengard</b></p><p> </p><p>Which I honestly first read as <i>ermehgahd</i> so I had to do a double take because LMAO</p><p>Your kudos and comments are my lifeblood &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. wonder why you look at me like that</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic is decidedly becoming fluffier and sweeter than I had anticipated it to be. Not a bad thing, just that I was thinking that the tension between the two of them, mostly with Tifa, was going to last longer but alas. These two just make it so easy, and also I have difficulty with slow burns LMAO Either way, I hope you enjoy this installment &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>She wrung the napkin on her lap while she waited for Cloud to finish. She felt like cooking and took the chance, eyeing one of the bottles of oaked Chardonnay from their winery. They kept a few bottles of the different wines, mostly of the more recent vintages, made from grapes they grew from the vineyard or that they had imported via different merchants, including her own father. Brian Lockhart had had a good working relationship with the Strife winery, so good in fact that there was no conflict to her being considered as Cloud’s marriage partner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had worked through the afternoon with Gisela, cleaning the salmon that had just been delivered that morning, gathering the herbs and spices and milk, stoking the fire and fanning the smoke away as they roasted the fish. It had come out a delightful medium rare and the lemon and dill cream sauce made it even more delectable. She was lucky, too, that there were still some leftover apples and she had a damn good streusel recipe up her sleeves. The char on the grilled fruit was beautiful and the light spice in the streusel warmed up the dessert even more. The sweetness of the brown sugar and the indulgence of the cream on the side balanced it out. Her dessert was untouched still.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She watched him take a thoughtful sip of the Chardonnay, like he was measuring his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Think you can teach the kitchen staff how to make these?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She never knew she could smile that widely and feel butterflies in her stomach at the same time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After dinner was a quiet affair, filled with small talk about nothing and everything while they finished their dessert and the bottle between them. She was getting a little tipsy. Her portions were smaller than his and they had about the same amount of alcohol. She could have even had more wine, now that she thought about it, to help settle her nerves. She knew she could cook good food, but she hadn’t in a while and she wasn’t sure it would be up to the standards in the manor. Thankfully, Gisela’s reactions were very enthusiastic during tasting and Cloud did say he wanted her to teach the kitchen staff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” She blinked owlishly, trying to get her bearings. Maybe she was more than just tipsy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you can get to your bed on your own or do you need me to walk you there too?” Despite her lightheadedness, she could see the wry expression on his face as she looked up, her nose brushing against his bicep as she did so. The last ten minutes came back to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a slow but pleasant walk to their quarters. Her arm had been looped with his when he offered, her head slightly leaning on his shoulder. In her mild drunkenness, she had accepted easily instead of making a big deal out of it and their steps were slow and easy. When she looked up at him, the first thing she wondered was if she kissed him, would her lipstick transfer and how would he look with berry-stained lips?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, no. I can walk by myself.” She untangled herself from him and walked resolutely to her door on shaky legs. She could hear him trying to stop himself from laughing but failing, soft snorts and chortles escaping, but she was far too proud to turn her around and glare at him, even if she was dying to. She gripped the handle firmly and pushed on it, leaving it open for Mathilde. She knew to come a few minutes after to help her bathe and get ready for sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh and Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This time she couldn’t resist looking over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good night.” She didn’t dare say anything more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dinner was lovely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned around fully this time, surprised, only to watch him walk into his room, the click and thud of his door closing loud in her ears. When she looked back to face her bed, for the first time since she had arrived, it felt far too big and far too empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She reasoned it was because the nights were chilly and the bed was far too big for one person, even his, that’s why she was standing in front of the door. It had nothing to do with how her last thoughts and her dreams were almost always of him, of his soft blond hair and his blue blue ocean eyes. She gave the imposing, though light stained, oak wood in front of her a once over, lingering on the handle before facing it head on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If they left it open, the first thing they’d see was the bed. They were placed on opposite walls so that they only needed to look up to see each other with comforters drawn over their bodies and fluffed pillows all around them. It was supposed to make conversation easy but it felt so strange to her. She had to raise her voice so he could hear, unable to whisper and talk in hushed tones as she imagined married couples were wont to do. Not that they spoke to each other so candidly in the night. The door stayed firmly shut, though unlocked. She knocked sharply on the solid wood, the sound low. There was no response. She quickly turned away but heard the door creak open behind her and felt the calluses on his hand on her wrist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait. Don’t go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hold on her tightened as he tugged her arm gently back before raising it. She followed his lead as he made her twirl around to face him. She clutched the pillow she was holding even tighter to her chest. If anything, it served as a barrier between them but she knew it was flimsy. He could easily pick it out and drop it on the floor, leaving her vulnerable in her nightgown and light robe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I um. I didn’t expect you to knock. I wasn’t sure at first so it took me a while,” he confessed. “Sorry it took so long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No no, it’s okay. I’m sorry to have disturbed you.” The blush was high on her cheeks and she was sure she was glowing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, you didn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She started to get distracted by how his thumb started to move over her wrist bone, stopping at the high point before continuing along the arc he was tracing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you need anything?” His voice was soft and pleading to her ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I um. I wanted to know if we could um.” She worried her lower lip between her teeth, head bending slightly as she struggled with her words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wanted to…?” She was thankful that he was coaxing it out of her as he continued the dizzying caress.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If we could um…” Tifa swallowed thickly before lifting her gaze up to meet his. “If we could… share the same bed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her voice had gone quiet towards the end, the heat travelling to her ears. Steam must have been radiating from her face. Her eyes grew wide when he pulled her in, the weight of his chin on the crown of her head grounding her, his arms moving to embrace her a comforting sensation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that very much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She let the pillow in between them drop as she moved in closer. She felt the muscles on his back contract when her hands looped around his waist, resting on his spine briefly before she clasped them together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Every night?” She smiled into him when she heard the nervousness in his voice. She supposed he could feel her amusement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as you don’t snore, kick me, or steal the blankets.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her smile grew even wider when she heard him laugh. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She yelped when he picked her up, one hand firmly behind her knees, the other supporting her mid back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud! I can walk by myself you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I never got to carry you like this. Let me.” His grin was wolfish and cheeky. The only thing she could do was laugh as he kicked the door closed and carried her into his room. It was still that, her things would remain where they were, but the bed? It was theirs now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She woke up to the pre-dawn light filtering through the semi-sheer curtains, the heavier brocade ones still pulled back. She could feel the warmth of his breath fanning over her skin and the steady rise and fall of his chest. It was early still, much too early for most, but she liked to watch the sun rise whenever she could. She tried to ease her way out of Cloud’s arms without waking him up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” She shivered when he dropped a kiss on the back of her neck as he pulled her even closer into him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just to the window. I want to watch the sun.” She patted his forearm. “Can’t I?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Too early.” She laughed softly. She didn’t realize Cloud could act so childishly. The sleepiness in his voice was apparent, like he was at the edge of consciousness and he’d dip back to his dreams if his concentration lapsed.  “Come back to sleep. Someone will wake us up when we’re supposed to be. Benedict, probably.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t I go back to my room before anyone catches us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So? We’re married.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew he had woken up just a little bit when he started to kiss along the curve from her neck to her shoulder, Cloud pulling out a surprised noise from the back of her throat when he flipped her to her back and leaned over her. His eyes were deep and wild like a predator’s, no sign of a bleary haze veiling over them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud…” Her voice was soft and unafraid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She lifted herself a little to meet him when he bent his head down. She couldn’t help bite down into the fleshiness of his lower lip, his hand reaching to cradle her cheek as his thumb swiped over the space beneath her eye before moving to cradle her head gently. Her body adjusted for him when his other hand slid beneath her and spread along the small of her back to push her even closer to him. She followed his movements when he rolled over, her body on top of his and her hair spilling around them like a dark curtain. She sank into him further when his legs slid open, letting her own settle in the space he had just created.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go back to sleep.” She tilted her head sideways, giving him more access when he pulled away, to pepper kisses along her jaw before lingering on the soft spot behind her ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why did she even want to get out of bed in the first place? Damn the sun and damn anyone who found her in the arms of her husband. They were married and there was nothing salacious about them sleeping together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rolled off of him and pillowed her head with his shoulder, tucking herself into his side, her free arm draping across his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt his fingers curl around her forearm gently, almost possessively even.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sat up, a little dazed, when they finally woke up, to Benedict’s knocking and the creak of the door opening. Cloud had gotten out of bed first and was talking to his valet in whispers, his body blocking her from the older man’s view. When he came back, she tilted her head curiously to the side as she took his hand, pushing off the linens and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to slide down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve instructed Benedict to discreetly let the staff know we’ll be sharing quarters, but to maintain your separate room for your things.” She shivered when he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Did you wake up just fine?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded leaning her head back just a little to look up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. ‘mfine,” she slurred, her hands still hanging uselessly at her sides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She fell into him when he bent down to kiss her softly, chaste and sweet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry to presume.” She savored the half smile he kissed into her cheek. She nosed his cheek to guide his lips back to hers as she draped her arms around his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No need for apologies.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rose to the ball of her feet when his arms wrapped around her waist to lift her slightly, opening her mouth for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Tifa hid her face behind her hands and pulled her knees to her chest, the water in the tub sloshing wildly, when she remembered everything that had happened. She couldn’t believe all the soft kisses and gentle touches they shared and it made her stomach twist and her heart leap. She was falling in love with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>It surprised her that the smile on his face was wide when he opened the door. She could tell by how his eyes brightened that he wasn’t expecting her but welcomed the visit just the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No tea this time?” She flushed when he looked down at her empty hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you’re good, maybe I’ll come back with the grilled apples you liked so much. No wine though, I don’t want you to spoil your appetite for dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you making something?” She shivered at the dulcet tones of his voice and the way the flecks of emerald in his blue blue eyes she never noticed before glimmered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” She was glad she found her voice before he made another comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess I should behave then. No promises though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The insinuation made her cheeks flame and her stomach drop. He was up to something and she wasn’t sure what. Or maybe he just liked to tease her and pull out all these reactions. It frustrated her that she couldn’t get a read on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, what did you want to talk about?” He pushed her lightly towards the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to do more.” She sounded resolute as she sat down on the sofa, leaving space between her and the back of it. The cushion sank a little when Cloud joined her, his knee knocking with hers just a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She twisted slightly to face him, determination burning in her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a small, unused room near your office and I’ve spoken with Johanna and Benedict about converting it into a space I can use. I’ve already arranged with Gisela and Alma that I want to be more involved with the meal planning, not just ours but the staff’s too. Let me take care of the household. I’ve always worked on budgeting and planning at Lockhart Trading.” She watched him sit up straighter when she started to talk. “Speaking of, I know my father’s business like the back of my own hand! I mean I’m not going back to work there but I want to make sure we can sell as much of the manor’s products as we can and gain a better understanding of the demand for them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She bit her lower lip as she clenched her skirt, waiting for his reply. She knew she was asking for a lot, and while there were more working women, most were still expected to only keep a home life. Perhaps seeing the Duke’s wife be involved in their businesses was unseemly, but maybe it could also lead to change in people’s perceptions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” Her voice sounded so small in her ears, but her apprehensions vanished when he leaned forward and kissed her, cradling the base of her skull gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’d like it if you could do that. It would remove a heavy burden from my shoulders.” A delicious thrill ran through her when he punctuated every few words with a kiss. “When can you start?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughed against his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe tomorrow. I think I’d like to spend some time with my husband, if he’s free.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She saw the reluctance in his eyes when he peeled away from her, if only to look at his desk. It made her thighs clench when he looked back at her with mischief written all over his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That can be arranged.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart skipped and her cheeks brightened when he leaned forward to steal her lips. Her eyes fluttered shut as she breathed in the warm, smoky, woodsy scent of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She found a red fountain pen, a bottle of ink, and a leather bound blank notebook the day after she repurposed the room into a workable office. On top, she found a small white card with the drawing of a cloud. She had a silly smile on her face all day, something Mathilde had noticed when she was undoing the pins and braids that held her hair away from her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something good happened, Ma’am?” The young girl’s fingers were gently working out any tangles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can say that.” Her red eyes fell to the rings on her left hand. Her father chose well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Freya approached her, eyes bright, with Fenrir trailing slowly behind. Tifa laughed as the palomino nosed her, as if she knew there was a treat for her. She listened to Freya’s pleased whinny when she presented chopped up carrots and apples with a couple of sugar cubes mixed in. The dark stallion nudged her when he approached the gate, like he was asking for his share. She sighed, shaking her head when she reached out her other hand to him, filled with the same treats.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No wonder they love you. Traitors.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She laughed as she dipped her hands in the bucket of water nearby, cleaning her hands of any residue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And why, pray tell, are Freya and Fenrir traitors, my dear Dominic.” She turned around and grabbed the towel he was holding out to her thankfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They just go to you obediently without any fuss but when I’m about to give them a bath or a good brushing down they just start acting like spoiled brats.” The stablemaster glared at the two Morgans affectionately, the horses deciding to hang around the gate, neighing as they tried to reach out and playfully headbutt them both.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re sweet and you know it. Maybe they just like playing with you.” She grinned, cheeky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re both a handful. Your husband was just here, visiting Freya and Fenrir, but unlike you, he didn’t spoil these two beasts with treats.” The older man sent a withering glare to the gold and black horses, but they both just snorted in response. “He’s with Sleipnir now. With no war, thank the gods, that horse can get antsy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa raised her brow, curious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He likes to roam free and run fast. It’s hard to keep him entertained but he’s a good, loyal horse.” Dominic jerked his thumb behind him. “Stable for the warhorses is over there. I’m sure Cloud will appreciate the visit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” She couldn’t help the amusement that bled into her voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve known since he was a kid! Always bugged me to teach him how to ride and look where he is now.” The tone in Dominic’s voice was fond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And how long have you been working here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Twenty-five years. Started working here when I was a kid, fifteen I reckon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She regarded the weathered skin on his face and the crows feet by his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t look a day over twenty!” she teased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so kind.” He grinned, tilting his hat just a little. “Mind if I call you Tifa as well? Kind of weird if I address you by your title and your husband by his name.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not at all! I’d actually like that very much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The other warhorses seemed to eye her with suspicion when she passed them by. She couldn’t blame them. She was a stranger and these horses were bred for battle. Still, they were handsome, intelligent creatures who eyed her with the wariness of a smart soldier who saw someone suspicious. She found Cloud and a horse she could only presume was Sleipnir at the end of the stables. He looked like he was talking to the Arabian lowly, moving the brush slowly over the gray coat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could read the surprise in his eyes when she tapped his shoulder, but it melted away when they had turned to face her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” It wasn’t an accusation, but she did see him tighten his hold on Sleipnir’s reins.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was just with Freya and Fenrir. Dominic told me I’d find you here.” She turned to face the gray horse. “Besides, I wanted to meet Sleipnir and see how handsome he was for myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could tell he had stiffened when she reached out, his mouth falling open first as he panicked but then everything shifted to awe when Sleipnir had leaned into her touch and snorted softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anything the matter?” She continued to stroke the space between the horse’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but I’m surprised he’s so docile with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled when he dropped the reins and went back to brushing the coat of his warhorse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why’s that? He seems like an angel.” She laughed and tried to duck when Sleipnir nosed her, like he was trying to remember how she smelled for next time, filing it away that she was one of the good ones that he liked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dom and I are the only ones he’s gentle with. Hulking beast.” She heard the affection in his voice. “Ever groomed a horse?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Couple of times, when dad brought me to the warehouse and I’d get distracted by the horses and help out there.” She saw Cloud look up, concerned, but she waved it off. “I’m good, don’t worry about me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a mane brush and comb set over there. Mind working on the mane for me? We’ve left it a little longer than usual, since there’s no war.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her gaze fell to the stool he pointed to, thankful he didn’t linger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As long as you tell me all about him.” She grinned, reaching for the brush and settling beside Cloud, taking a length of the horse’s silvery mane in her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s been with me since the invasion up north. He’s saved my life more times than I can count.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sleipnir snorted, like he was proud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She spent the morning filing it with picnic food, that much he knew, but she wanted the contents to be a surprise. She watched Gisela take a look around, making sure that they had pulled out the freshest of their stocks and that the few cooked items they were placing in the basket were cool enough to wrap. It was a feast of finger foods, the entire spread heavy enough for dinner if they ate enough. Cloud had told her he and Dominic would take care of tacking the horses, so all she had to concern herself with was making their fare as delicious as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Has he told you what you’re doing on horseback, Ma’am?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took the wrapped cheese from Mathilde, arranging it as best she could with the bread already in the saddlebag.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A tour of part of the estate. We’ll be headed to the bigger lake.” She hummed as she continued to work, lightly patting the cake that had been cooling for some time. It was a recipe she had scribbled down in one of her old notebooks, her mother’s apparently, with notes on the margins from her father and one of their oldest family friends about good toppings that went along with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That's wonderful!” The younger girl’s voice sounded so dreamy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa smiled. She wondered if this is what it was like to have sisters. She wouldn’t have traded her upbringing for anything in the world but it was nice to spend time and talk about silly little things with women more or less her age, even if she was the lady of the house. They certainly treated her with deference when the occasion called for it but she was happy for the warm and comfortable relationship they had in between those moments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make sure that jar is sealed tightly, Mathilde! Don’t want it spilling over our lovely young duchess’ fare for her husband.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, ma’am!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gisela!” Her face was bright and red but the two women looked at each other and giggled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They had the horses going at a leisurely pace by the time she saw the shimmering lake on the horizon, dyed in the pinks and oranges and purples of the sunset. When they reached the crest of the incline, she could see the still blue waters by the docks and a few small boats moored there. It was absolutely breathtaking and charming. There was a cottage nearby with a picnic table out front and a swing set up on the large tree.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s a small stable out back. Come on, we can leave Freya and Fenrir there.” His voice was soft in her ears, that’s how it always was these days, with a touch of huskiness even. She was so entranced by it and she could only nod along as she steered her Morgan to follow Fenrir. Cloud’s back was still straight, but there was a certain ease about it that she admired. He was an experienced rider, after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does anyone live here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The foliage in front of the stone fencing was well maintained and all the greens of the leaves and grasses were bright and healthy. The flowers in bloom were dazzling to behold and even paths by the dirt patches of the stable were clean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We used to come here a lot when I was younger, whenever my mother wanted a short getaway from manor life. Just overnight but it felt like we were an ordinary family for a little while. We came occasionally, as I got older, but my father had gotten busier through the years.” She saw the nostalgia on his face. “Even if we did get here on horseback, hence the small stable. Some of the staff come here once a week to make sure everything is clean and aired out and watered. My parents had this built just before I was born but I haven’t been here since their deaths.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” She tightened her hold on the reins. She wasn’t sure what to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Need any help getting down?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She jolted in place, surprised to feel Cloud’s hand on her lap. She hadn’t even noticed him getting down, Fenrir starting to graze at the small stretch of grass by his hooves. She didn’t really need any help, and he probably knew that, but it was a kind gesture she wasn’t going to ignore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please.” She swung her leg around to sit side saddle, cheeks pinking. Her blush turned even deeper as he helped her down, his hands warm and firm on her waist. She wondered if she was just imagining things when she was settled on the ground, that his hold was lingering still and his gaze fell on her lips when she tilted her head up to meet his eyes. She could see the love there, sincere and quiet. Her heart stuttered at that discovery. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Love</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” His lips nearly brushed the shell of her ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mmm.” Her hands were flat against his chest like it would stop him from crowding into her even further, not that it was of any help. She felt him lean slightly into her before pulling away completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you walk Freya over to the picnic table and unload the saddlebag there. I’ll come over and get Freya once I’ve gotten Fenrir settled into the stable.” His gaze was soft and steady, Tifa almost flinching when he reached out to brush her hair away from her forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” She tipped her head down slightly, keeping her eyes trained on the ball of her foot as she ground it over a clump of dirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She preened when Cloud’s jaw nearly dropped at sight of the spread she had set out. There were freshly baked breads, some wedges of their semi-hard, nutty cheeses, finished with some packages of blue cheese as well. Off to the side of them was a selection of fresh apples and pears, the olive oil cake she had made yesterday, and the uncapped jar of strawberry and raspberry preserves that Gisela had made with Alma. She couldn’t help but laugh when he zoned in the wine in her hands, the label on the dark bottle peeking through from between her fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you know this is my favorite?” The cool glass of the bottle slid against her palms as he pulled it from her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I might have heard you enjoy a glass of Merlot now and again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alma said?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hummed, rocking back and forth on her feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a darling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes fell shut when he kissed her hairline. She savored the coolness of his lips against the heat of her skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, I’m getting hungry. This is a feast you prepared for us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She let him tug her forward, her fingers clasped with his, as he guided her over to the table to watch the setting sun.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here are my references for this chapter!</p><p><a href="https://winefolly.com/wine-pairing/pairing-wine-with-salmon/">Salmon and wine pairings</a><br/><a href="https://winefolly.com/tips/3-styles-of-chardonnay-wine-and-how-to-find-them/">Types of Chardonnay</a><br/><a href="https://www.gourmetsleuth.com/articles/detail/wine-and-fruit-pairing">Wine and fruit pairings</a><br/><a href="https://www.lacrema.com/chardonnay-food-pairings/">Chardonnay food pairings</a><br/><a href="https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/queen-elizabeth-prince-philip-separate-beds.html/">Sleeping in separate beds</a>. It’s apparently a thing with British nobility and I first saw/ heard about it in an episode of The Crown!<br/><a href="https://learn.winecoolerdirect.com/pairing-wine-and-cheese/">Merlot and cheese</a> I like hard nutty cheeses like gouda and I do like a bit of blue cheese now and again so that’s what I went with LOL<br/><a href="https://www.capalbosonline.com/Magnificent-Merlot-Fruit-Cheese-Gourmet-Gift-Box">Merlot and fruit 1</a> there’s an apple and what looks to be a pear so :u<br/><a href="https://www.matchingfoodandwine.com/news/pairings/which-foods-match-best-with-merlot/">Merlot and fruit 2</a> and since strawberries and raspberries are red fruits, figured they’d pair well with the cake and the wine</p><p>I really enjoyed writing this chapter. It felt like slice of life, which is a genre I adore.</p><p>Your kudos and comments are my lifeblood &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. what you're thinking, what's behind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Slowly plodding along. Thank you guys for your wonderful reception of this fic &lt;3 I’m glad you guys are enjoying this as much as I have been writing it! I do read all your comments and I will slowly go through them and reply but sometimes I’m not sure what to say xD</p>
<p>FYI, there’s a little bit of misogynistic language in this chapter, but it’s not that intense or lengthy. Shouldn’t be anything triggering but I just thought I’d let you guys know.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hustle and bustle throughout the manor was starting to pick up. It was still a couple of weeks to August, and then some time still before Cloud’s birthday, but everyone was excited. There hadn’t been a gathering quite like this since his parents had passed, and there was a somber mood still during the wedding. Now, though, it was a celebration of his birthday. There should have been one for hers, she was told, but they had explained that they didn’t want to spend too much of taxpayer coin so soon after the wedding and that Tifa was still grieving and getting used to her new life. She picked up her skirts just a little as she walked the few steps towards the kitchen, the comforting aroma of familiar spices wafting through.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She smiled when she reached Alma and Gisela, the pair of them quickly standing once she had reached them. It had taken her some time to get used to such deferential behavior but she was getting there. Much as she preferred a more casual relationship with everyone in the household, they weren’t all like Dominic who was rather cavalier about the whole thing. Still, she was more than happy she was getting along with everyone and they were all just as excited as she was to work on the menu for Cloud’s party.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was quite a big affair and their guests were of some import as well. They had invited his vassals, some of the minor nobles in neighboring towns and cities, as well as important guild leaders and merchants within Cloud’s direct jurisdiction. She knew if it were entirely up to him, it’d be a small dinner just the two of them, but she didn’t mind  the additional work involved, excited to experiment with different food and drink combinations and recipes. It was a challenge she was willing to take on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Everyone ready?” She smiled, looking at Alma then at Gisela.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes, Ma’am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was an easy discussion, filled with talk of in season fruits and vegetables, nuts they had in storage, and fresh fish and the dry aged meats they could source from the estate or nearby fishmongers and butchers. The wines, of course, from their winery and she just had to incorporate Merlot somewhere in the meal. They had gone with wines that pleased the palates of most and dishes that were easy to prepare but still flavorful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had settled on servers carrying trays of bite size grilled, in season vegetables and lightly sugared roasted nuts for their hors d'oeuvres, along with flutes of delicate honey water as everyone mingled. When they were all seated, plates of small portions of roasted salmon with her lemon dill cream sauce would be brought out, Chardonnay, oaked of course, poured at the table. She wanted a repeat of that dish, Cloud having been impressed with it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their main course was more traditional, various roasted meats served with sides of mashed, buttery potatoes and parsnips and roasted summer squash and mushrooms to go with his favored Merlot. Dessert was where she went all out, going with a faintly lavender and vanilla custard topped with a generous helping of burnt sugar shards and a side of apples poached in lightly sweetened orange juice paired with a chilled, decadent Sauterne.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Make sure we have enough for all of the staff as well.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Alma’s and Gisela’s eyes widened at her instructions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You may be working here but we just want to make sure everyone gets to taste what you worked hard on. Especially the cooks.” Her ruby eyes twinkled as she took in their surprised expressions. “Okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Y-yes, Ma’am!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Biggs whistled lowly as they stood at the storefront of Lockhart Trading. It was still as busy as ever, customers, clients, and suppliers coming in and out of the front door. She smiled, a mix of a little bit of sadness and nostalgia, as she reminisced, her father holding her small hand every morning as he opened up shop. It started out small, buying wares from other artisans and making trade deals with traveling merchants. He had a good eye for things and good bargaining skills that he had saved enough money to expand his business. They had a number of trading caravans now and exclusive contracts with merchants from other lands and their reputation for quality and good value for money items was peerless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the months since her marriage to Cloud, business had soared. They were the only ones in town who sold wines and brandies from Strife manor. Anyone else who did, either in Strife lands or abroad, had to course their business requests through them. It was a lucrative business opportunity and one Tifa was immensely grateful for. Her father’s employees had secure futures. She couldn’t help but laugh when she entered, a little girl making a beeline towards her and clutching at her skirts. Marlene had always been attached to her, upset that Tifa had moved away, but was excited when she found out her family was moving into Tifa’s childhood home and she was taking her old room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She was so excited to see you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice to see you too, Barret.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He snorted, reaching out and placing his hand on the top of her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good to see you haven’t changed.” She could hear the gruffness in his voice but she knew there was affection there, somewhere. He’s worked for Lockhart Trading long enough for her to know. “C’mere, Marlene. Tifa’s got some business. He’s waiting for you in the room.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He jerked his thumb to the door off to the side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay…” Tifa laughed at how Marlene dragged her syllables, reluctantly letting go.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She crouched down low to look at Marlene straight in the eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Want to have some cake before I go? There’s a great bakery nearby.” She grinned, reaching out her pinky for the little girl to take. “Promise I won’t tell your dad.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You talk as if I’m not here.” She could feel Barret’s withering glare but she ignored that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“D’you hear that, Marlene? I wonder who just spoke!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She giggled, wrapping her pinky around Tifa’s before kissing her cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It should be ready a few days before the Duke’s birthday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was relieved at the confidence in his voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m glad. I thought there wasn’t going to be enough time. It’s in about three weeks, after all.” She let a hand drop to her chest as she sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I would say making the cast would be the most time consuming part but the designs aren’t that complicated. It’ll be ready in time, I assure you.” His voice was warm and reassuring. “Where should I have it delivered, Ma’am?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We can meet here again. I’m afraid you might bump into my husband if you bring it to the manor.” She could feel the heat rise to her cheeks but she tried to tamp it down anyway. This was probably the first time she ever referred to Cloud as her husband to someone who wasn’t working for him in some way. “You can let the people here know when it’s ready. It’s a surprise after all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Of course, Ma’am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could see the knowing twinkle in his eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was very nice meeting you.” She reached out her hand towards him, glad that he took it and his hold was firm and confident. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a cake date with a little girl I’ve missed spending time with.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’d been so busy since then, daily tasks just piling up and the additional work of making sure everything was prepared for the banquet. In between, they had to carve out time for fittings, the pair of them expected to have a grand debut at his party. Well, she was expected to anyway, this being the first thing she’s ever hosted. It was incredibly nerve wracking, to say the least, but she was soldiering on. They had just about a week left until his birthday and she could probably only relax when everything was all said and done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do we really have to do this?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tifa looked down, lips twitching as she fought the amused smile threatening to break. He was acting a bit like a petulant child and it was so entertaining. She never thought she’d see Cloud like this, curled up on her chaise with his head on her lap. The soft light from the moon and the faint candle glow peeking from the cracks in the door made the moment even more intimate than it already was.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They expect you to hold something grand,” she reasoned as she began to card her fingers through his hair. She felt him relax under her touch, his shoulders loosening as he melted further into her. “Everyone’s going to make a fuss if you don’t.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She paused, trying to steady herself. It wasn’t Cloud they were going to judge, she left that unsaid, but he knew. All eyes were going to be on her, as his wife. They expected her to hold something suitable for her husband. The household was her domain, after all. Lost in her thoughts, she jerked back into reality when she felt Cloud brush away the stray tears that had fallen. The stress was getting to her, even if everything was going according to plan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If they didn’t have stupid expectations, I’d really would have liked it to be just the two of us. You know that right?” The softness of his voice and touch warmed her. It was silly, Cloud lying down and relaxing but he was the one comforting her. Then again, it seemed like everything he was was a balm to soothe the ache in her soul.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you,” she whispered, covering his hand on her cheek with her own, the other still continuing to massage his scalp.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No problem. It’s what I’m here for.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her heart squeezed at his charming, boyish smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“All the wines are in the cellar and the Sauterne is in the ice room, right Alma?” Tifa was checking off the list of things that should have arrived by now. The preparations for the dinner were starting soon and they were triple checking they had everything ready. If they were missing anything, they still had some time to get what they needed or revise their game plan.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I watched them store it myself. The staff is working on sorting the vegetables, roasting the nuts, and breaking down the meat.” She could tell the head cook was excited. It had been a while since they had last held anything of this scale, the last one having been just before the deaths of Cloud’s parents. Thankfully, the rest of the morning flew by quickly, the inspections going well and the roasted nuts divine. She’s more than satisfied to leave Alma and Gisela to it so she could get ready to go to Lockhart Trading. Biggs and Wedge were already standing by, Tifa sending Mathilde to let them know they’d be leaving soon.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was so lost in her thoughts about the upcoming banquet that she didn’t even realize she was already in the small meeting room at Lockhart Trading. Her eyes went wide when Louis took out the things she had asked him to make. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The outside of the fountain pen was a deep cobalt blue with a faint shimmer, its trim and fine nib in sterling silver trim. It was a handsome pen, the screw-on cap currently posted at the end of the barrel for a nice counterbalance. There was sample writing using the pen and inks she had purchased as well, a couple of bottles each of a solid black and an unusual stormy blue black with hints of gray. In the other velvet box were two wax seal stamps, one engraved with the Strife family emblem, the profile of a wolf’s head howling at a crescent moon, the other with Cloud’s monogram in a delicate, swirling script. In between the stamps were sticks of sealing wax in Strife blue, an ocean hued shade, with swirls of greens and golds. They were everything and more than what she had expected.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They’re absolutely stunning.” She reached out but drew her hand back, almost afraid that if she touched them, they’d break.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you for your kind words, Ma’am. It’s been an honor for me to make these.” Louis bowed his head slightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had a friendly chat afterwards, mostly Tifa inquiring about the artisan’s business. It was a stationery business he ran with a friend, his partner working more on paper production and binding while he dealt with waxes and inks and writing implements. He was glad to find his niche in fountain pen making, still a fairly recent invention but it was easier to use than the quills of old. He had invited her to come to his shop when she wasn’t so busy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll make the time for it. I’d love to see your other wares.” She offered her hand out to Louis. “It was a pleasure doing business with you. I’m sure my husband will love what you’ve made.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He smiled, kindly. It reminded her of her father a little bit, with the crinkles by his eyes and the dimple on his cheek.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ah, Tifa, before you go, there’s something I want you to try.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looked up to see Barret’s head poking inside the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s that? No Marlene today?” She rose from her seat, picking up her skirt as she moved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Getting all fancy on me now are you?” He raised his brow as he stared at her hands, voice gruff but still affectionate. He handed her a small canvas bag. “Nah, she’s over at a friend’s house today.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s this?” She undid the knot and breathed in the scent. It was bitter and sweet and roasty and toasty. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but it’s unique and different from anything she’s smelled before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Just try it. Thought you might like it. Let me know your professional opinion on it though, Miss Duchess.” His grin was infectious and Tifa couldn’t help but smile widely as well.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s Duchess Strife to you, Mr. Wallace.” She put on her best, unaffected but stern expression. She barely held it for a minute before she broke down in laughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah yeah yeah, just tell me whether you like it or not and if you think there’s promise in selling it here. Merchant who gave us the sample says they have a few other blends that they could send over to try before we strike a deal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We?” She raised a delicate brow, amused.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes we.” She heard the slight growl in his voice that was there when he was determined. “They’re new and looking for patrons and merchants.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She swatted his hand before he could place it on her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh? They were the ones who approached?” She pulled the string and knotted it tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yup. Heard about how this was associated with the Strifes and they know of the reputation and success of your husband’s family.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nodded slowly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright, I’ll let you know as soon as I can.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Atta girl.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This time, she let him reach out and ruffle the top of her hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She found him waiting at his family portrait by the top of the stairs, his body in a quarter turn. She thought it unusual that he wasn’t wearing his favored dark colors for his suit, but then again it was a blue that was close to the ocean of his eyes. It was a royal blue two piece that was still soft and easy on the eyes, despite the starkness of his white dress shirt and the darkness of his black tie and leather shoes. He looked regal and aloof with the top button of his blazer closed and one hand tucked inside his pocket and the light shining down on his profile. She couldn’t help the pride bubbling inside of her when she saw Cloud’s gobsmacked expression when he turned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her dress is a deep navy blue with a mandarin style collar, the slight v cut at the neckline just short of the hollow of her neck. There was a shimmery chiffon overlay on top, with fine beadwork made to look like constellations in the night sky. The short sleeves of it were in the same beaded chiffon, dark enough to provide a strong contrast against her skin, but sheer enough to show a little peek of it. The skirt of it was made layers upon layers of thin, plain tulle in the same color as the chiffon, sewn in a fine gather at the waistline and flaring out into a beautiful A line that skimmed the floor. Each time she took a step, the round toes of her champagne colored pumps peeked out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Most of the guests were already there when they entered the ballroom. Their names had been announced by the marshal once they had arrived. There was quiet applause and the servers carrying the trays of the hors d'oeuvres and the honey water had stopped. It was like a still life painting. Once Cloud raised his hand and nodded his head, everything moved.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You alright?” His voice was just loud enough for her to hear, his other hand patting the back of hers that was curled around his elbow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’d like to try the vegetables and the nuts, if you don’t mind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His soft laughter was music to her ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As you wish.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her cheeks warmed as she smiled up at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Dinner was a delightful affair. She saw his eyes widen and lips curl into a gentle smile when they finally sat down and the plates of roasted salmon were being served and the Chardonnay was being poured. The smell of smoke and char hung heavily, pleasantly, in the air when the main course was brought out, cut by the fruitiness of the Merlot. There were quiet gasps of pleasure coming from every which way when the custard and cold Sauterne was brought out. She flushed when he squeezed her hand under the table. The look in his eyes told her everything she needed to know. He was proud of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“The fish was absolutely divine! I was never one for salmon cooked medium rare but you’ve converted me, Ma’am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tifa flushed under the praise, nodding her head shyly and answering all their questions. Most weren’t intrusive but there were some that toed the line. Everyone around them was just far too eager to get to know her better and maybe, along the way, earn her favor. There were merchants and guild leaders invited and her father’s business was definitely not their only business partner. It made no sense for them to put all their eggs in one basket, even if it was a business she watched grow from the very beginning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You must tell me who provided the food for this dinner! I’m sure the wine comes from the Duke’s winery but the food?” The noblewoman looked at the plates still being cleared out to emphasize her point. “The food was absolutely perfect. It felt effortless, from start to finish.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She made a note to tell Alma, Gisela, and the rest of the kitchen staff what the guests had thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Pah. You’re just saying all that to curry favor. The wine was good, as expected from the Strifes, but the food? It was just barely edible.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone’s attention was pulled to the right as the man in question pulled out a seat for himself, the scrape on the floor loud and irritating. He was a minor lord, clearly upset and perhaps drunk if the redness in his face and the sway of his hands were any indication. No one dared to speak. He had the audacity to sit in the presence of the Duke’s wife, disregarding any form of etiquette.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re just lucky this merchant’s daughter has… a head on her shoulders, I guess. A real noble daughter would throw something laudable. No good woman would ever come from such common… stock. How much did you pay to be put into consideration? Or maybe you even sold yourself to the advisers because you couldn’t give them enough gold. Were you passed around, adamant that at least your chastity be left intact, or did you not even care about that? Whor—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She could hear the poison dripping from the man’s mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Was the food not to your liking, Lord Coward?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She jolted when she heard her husband speak. She didn’t hear him arrive and clearly no one else expected him to arrive at that moment, least of all the portly noble, all color gone from his face. Everyone else turned to face Cloud, but she kept her gaze trained at the noble. She’d seen the name in the ledgers, though there weren’t too many entries. They had a livestock farming business but it wasn’t particularly lucrative or reputable. They had decent quality products but their methods had always been questionable, but they were minor nobility and that alone gave them some clout. The Strifes had done more business with them in the past, but that had dwindled soon after Cloud had been born, if the books were anything to go by. The accountants of the household spoke in not too kind terms about their business dealings with Edmund Coward.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Then again, perhaps it’s because we didn’t source our meats from your livestock farm. I do apologize for that oversight.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She tried not to flinch when Cloud put a hand on her shoulder, gentle despite the edge in his voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My wife thought it prudent to source our meats from farms closer by, and ones that actually respond promptly to our missives.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Edmund turned purple, angry. He was bracing his hand on the table to rise but Cloud cut him off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I see your feet still bother you. Would you like for me to refer to some doctors to you? I assumed a man in your position would have already had some treatment for your injuries, the foot pain you always seem to get when you need to walk more than a few yards, that left you unable to serve in the defense of our good king’s territory. Clearly, I was wrong. I apologize.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cloud’s anger was palpable and his tone was biting. All she could do was wrap her hands around his arm in an attempt to cool his temper.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t think I didn’t hear your insinuations either.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No matter how tightly she held onto him, Cloud slipped free. Time almost seemed to slow down as he wound his arm back before hurling his fist straight at Coward’s jaw. It was a clean hit and she might have even heard bones crack. She wasn’t sure if it was from the man on the floor, all bug eyed and outraged, or the knuckles of her husband.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“H-how dare you!” Coward roared like an injured, cornered animal. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She looked down at the fallen lord with pity. The crowd around them had grown and she could hardly hear what they were saying, not when Cloud wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tucked her into him. With how she was pressed against his chest, she could see the beginnings of a bruise on his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you don’t want to be dragged out by my guards, you best make yourself scarce. I don’t want you stepping anywhere near my home or doing business with us again, Coward. I will not tolerate anyone who speaks so lowly of my wife, just because I didn’t choose your spoiled daughter instead.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>From the corner of her eye, she saw him flee at Cloud’s words. For someone supposedly injured, he was quick on his feet.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I apologize for causing a stir. Please, go enjoy the rest of the banquet. I believe there’s still some wine left, or honey water if you want to sober up.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The whispers grew loud for a brief moment then softened. She heard footsteps moving away from them but they stayed put. She breathed him in, her hands curling around the lapels of his suit jacket, shivering when Cloud’s hair brushed against her cheek and his lips were by her ear.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You okay?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nodded as best she could while pressed up so close to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Want to leave? No one will mind.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She nodded again. Tears started to well up and she wasn’t sure how long she could hold them back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her knees gave way a few feet from the ballroom door. The music and the chatter was loud enough to stifle her sobs. She was thankful he didn’t say anything when he picked her up in his arms and started to walk to the stairs, jostling her slightly only to get a better hold. They had reached the top of it when she finally started to calm down.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thank you.” Her voice was weak and she was sure her makeup was a mess. She ducked her head, not wanting Cloud to see but he set her down and lifted her chin with his finger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re welcome.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She didn’t know what it was about him but she leaned forward as she tiptoed, kissing him softly. His body stiffened, he was probably just surprised she thought, but she was relieved when he placed both his hands on the small of her back and pushed her closer to him and returned her affections.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” She felt him kiss the words into her skin, his lips tracing the path from her neck to the curve of her shoulder. The warmth of his arms seeped through the thin silk of her chemise. She tilted her head to the other side, baring her neck to him when she felt his teeth graze, her arms reaching back and curling into his hair.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Not your fault, don’t worry about it.” She pulled his locks a little, pleasantly surprised at the soft groan he let out. She made a note of that and filed it away for later.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Still.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She dropped her arms back down her side and loosened his hold on her, just enough so she could twist in place and drape her arms around his neck.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know not everyone likes me and they’ll say hurtful things, but that has nothing to do with you. You couldn’t have known.” She pressed her forehead against his. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She felt him nod.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I have something for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You do? As if that banquet wasn’t enough, minus one hiccup.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She hummed, peeling herself away from him and making her way to the vanity. His gaze on her felt intense, like he couldn’t peel his eyes off of her. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a backless smooth black silk piece with lace covering the deep v cut on the front and thin straps that crossed over in between her shoulder blades. The hem of it hiked up slightly when she bent forward, barely managing to cover her backside, as she pulled out the boxes she hid in her vanity. She wasn’t sure if it was just her or if the room had gotten hotter. Shaking her head slightly, she padded back to Cloud with the boxes in hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Happy birthday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She worried her lower lip between her teeth as she watched him undo the ribbon that held the boxes closed. She could feel her heartbeat in her ears when he undid the clasp and opened the cases, the telltale snap loud. Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach when he set them aside on the table nearby.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s wrong? Did you not li—mmph!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She clutched his shirt to try and stabilize herself when he all but lunged at her and sealed his lips over hers as he backed her into the vanity. There was a sharp thud when she hit the table and felt it press deeply against her lower back. Her heart stuttered for a moment as she tried to process what was happening, fingers curling around the edge of the wood for balance. She shivered when his arms brushed against hers as he caged her in, the warmth of his palms seeping into the back of her hands when he placed them on top. A shock of electricity coursed through her when she felt his tongue probe the seam of her lips and the decadent roll of his hips. Her legs spread just a little to accommodate him better and his hands dropped to the back of her thighs, squeezing lightly before he wrapped them around his waist. It was only the need for air that made them pull apart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She wondered if she looked the same as Cloud, panting, lips red and kiss swollen, and eyes half lidded and dark.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t know what you do to me. You’re thoughtful and sweet and just everything I never knew I needed and more.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She leaned into him and held him tightly as she shimmied along his torso and crossed her ankles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really?” She sounded absolutely breathless and stunned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His soft declaration of yes was music to her ears.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can I show you?”</p>
<p><br/>“ <em> Please </em>.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It’s a little late for Cloud’s birthday and this would have been perfect to post then but alas xD</p>
<p>Here are my references for this chapter!</p>
<p><a href="https://www.lacrema.com/chardonnay-food-pairings/">Chardonnay food pairings</a><br/><a href="https://www.matchingfoodandwine.com/news/pairings/which-foods-match-best-with-merlot/">Merlot food pairings</a><br/><a href="https://vinepair.com/articles/ultimate-guide-dessert-wines-infographic/">About Sauternes</a><br/><a href="https://www.matchingfoodandwine.com/news/pairings/the-best-food-pairings-for-sauternes/">Sauterne food pairings</a><br/><a href="http://www.fourpoundsflour.com/history-dish-burnt-cream-grandaddy-of-creme-brulee/">Evidence of crème brûlée in the 17th century</a><br/><a href="https://www.thoughtco.com/medieval-food-preservation-1788842">How people preserved food and drink</a>, though really the important bit of this is that they had some form of cold storage<br/><a href="https://www.veaul.com/chinese-style-navy-blue-evening-dresses-2019-a-line-princess-high-neck-beading-crystal-short-sleeve-floor-length-long-formal-dresses.html">Tifa’s dress</a><br/><a href="https://www.gouletpens.com/collections/all-fountain-pens/products/sailor-1911s-fountain-pen-stormy-sea">Fountain pen</a><br/><a href="https://blog.gouletpens.com/2010/05/to-post-or-not/">What it means to post the cap</a><br/><a href="https://www.gouletpens.com/products/pilot-iroshizuku-take-sumi-50ml-bottled-ink">Black ink</a><br/><a href="https://www.gouletpens.com/products/pilot-iroshizuku-shin-kai-50ml-bottled-ink?variant=11884757778475">Blue black ink</a><br/><a href="https://www.dreamstime.com/blue-green-gold-marbling-pattern-golden-powder-marble-liquid-texture-image153034750">Reference image for what I think the sealing wax would look like</a><br/><a href="https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Surnames/">Apparently the surname Coward</a> comes from cowherd AND works well with all those jibes Cloud was making about his avoidance of serving. I also chose Edmund because Edmund Pevensie was a prick in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Everything just sort of fell into place. Writing this scene actually hurt me and made me mad, but I suppose that’s what can happen.<br/><a href="https://www.pinkbasis.com/shoes-heels-fd-jinni-schampagneglt.html">Tifa’s shoes</a><br/><a href="https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1229/4072/files/tom-hiddleston-blue-suit-2_1024x1024.jpg?v=1492009988">Cloud’s suit</a><br/><a href="https://www.lasenza.com/ph/pd/satin-chemise-11160065.html?dwvar_11160065_color=03YZ">Tifa’s chemise</a></p>
<p>I have had a lavender crème brûlée and it is to die for, because the flavoring was just right and the custard was silky smooth. I also really want those Pilot Iroshizuku inks orz</p>
<p>Hope you all enjoyed the Barret and Marlene cameo! O:</p>
<p>Man, I’m trying NOT to write smut every chapter but these two just make it so very tempting LOL.</p>
<p>Your kudos and comments are my lifeblood &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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